Bee’s Musings

Don’t we all? Really?

A short story based on lost and discarded grocery lists. I laughed. And I read my shopping list to see what people would interpret from mine.

Enjoy!

Eggs, Milk & Vodka

I’ve got a horrible case of spring fever. I’m ready for warmer weather - I want to see the plants starting to grow, not have to put on a sweatshirt and a coat every time I leave the house, and actually wear some of the cute spring shoes that are popping up all over! As part of this desire to speed spring in, I headed out yesterday to get a pedicure. I also ended up with an adorable new pair of shoes. (Check them out… mine are just in patent leather.)

Of course, by the time my pedicure was down, it was snowing like crazy. We’ve got about 3″ so far, and are supposed to get more today during the day. (I’ll post pictures later. As much as I hate the fact that it snowed, it really is pretty.)

Me and my pretty toes are staying in today.

Update: Snow Picture!

Sometimes I do stupid girl stuff. This weekend I did (at least) 2 stupid girl things.

1 - I cleaned my house top to bottom because I thought someone was coming over. When said someone canceled, I cried. I’m not really sure why - I’m typically not much of a cryer, but I couldn’t help it. Although it is quite nice to have such a clean house now, it would have been nice to have shown it off.

2 - I got “artificial” nails. So far, I don’t totally hate them. I did totally hate them for the first 24 hours. But after work today I went back to the nail place and had them cut shorter, and thinned. Seriously, these things were as thick as marshmallows before! Now they’re a bit more manageable. The nail tech kept telling me that she thought I was going to break them. I work a desk job lady. I already cleaned my entire house, so I’m not using any harsh chemicals. I just want nails that I can function with enough that I can button my own gosh-darned pants.

I’m going to try to keep the house cleaner now. But I’m not sure if I’ll keep the nails.

If, God forbid, something were to happen to one of my cute, lovable and friendly pets, and I were to get a new pet, I think I would name it Crisis. I think its a great name because then I could say that “I need to get home to take care of my Crisis,” and people would think that I always had some kind of emergency when really I just needed to feed the hamster.

Or “I’m spending some quality time with Crisis.” Always a good thought. “Down Crisis, down!”

(Note: No, I haven’t been drinking or reading “Deep Thoughts with Jack Handy.” I just thought of it all on my own and made myself laugh. Now, stop trying to figure out my blog and go back to your regularly scheduled life!)

Let me just put this out there: I like having a planet. I especially like having a clean planet. I try to do my part to at least recycle my cans, and use bio-degradable things when I can. Or re-use things.

So, here’s my pet peeve. For the second time in a row, someone has decided to use the can recycling bin at work for garbage. Sure, it sits next to a garbage can, but that doesn’t mean that its for garbage! Someone is simply being lazy and non-observant and its just annoying the crap out of me.

Thanks for reading.

Now, back to my regularly scheduled work.

~b.

I walked into a stall in the women’s restroom at the office today, and there was a plastic spoon sitting on top of the toilet paper dispenser. I have no idea what it was doing there, but it seemed unnerving. What in the world could someone want a spoon for in the stall?

Truth is, I don’t want to know.

Sometimes I think my blog is just turning into a whole collection of sites that I find to be interesting, entertaining, or flat out good ways to spend my time. This moment is no exception, as I proudly present Common Errors in English.

Not only does this give you the correct way to use words like to/too/two, but can also give you the history and background (as well as correct usage, of course) of common phrases.

Some examples:
Begs the Question
An argument that improperly assumes as true the very point the speaker is trying to argue for is said in formal logic to “beg the question.” Here is an example of a question-begging argument: “This painting is trash because it is obviously worthless.” The speaker is simply asserting the worthlessness of the work, not presenting any evidence to demonstrate that this is in fact the case. Since we never use “begs” with this odd meaning (“to improperly take for granted”) in any other phrase, many people mistakenly suppose the phrase implies something quite different: that the argument demands that a question about it be asked—raises the question. If you’re not comfortable with formal terms of logic, it’s best to stay away from this phrase, or risk embarrassing yourself.
Please RSVP
R.S.V.P. stands for the French phrase Répondez s’il vous plaît (“reply, please”), so it doesn’t need an added “please.” However, since few people seem to know its literal meaning, and fewer still take it seriously, it’s best to use plain English: “Please reply.” It is a mistake to think that this phrase invites people to respond only if they are planning to attend; it is at least as important to notify the person doing the inviting if you cannot go. And no, you can’t bring along the kids or other uninvited guests.

Is there really anything wrong with just being shallow sometimes? Not reading the classic literature, not remembering the major events of the world, and when they happened? My favorite section of Google News is often the Entertainment section, followed by the Health Section. Of course, sometimes technology catches my eye too. I watch fluffy movies for fun - I can’t tell you the last time I watched a documentary.
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Here’s how I used my “wasted time” today: Checking out the strangedst things you can see on Google Earth, according to PC World magazine.

And by the powers vested in me by the power of WordPress, now you cans see them too. By clicking here. You don’t have to install the massively huge file of Google Earth to see the images, so feel free to check them out.

My personal favorite is probably the boat on its side. Or the red lake in Iraq. Pretty interesting stuff.