Bee’s Musings

Sometimes I really think I need to learn when to quit. Now, for example would be a good time. Not my job or anything drastic like that - but probably the drugs. (Just kidding - for those of you who know me, you’ll know that drugs aren’t something I do.)

Despite the fact that I am overwhelmed with and unable to keep up with my current job, I’ve taken on the responsibilities to help with marketing a struggling club in the northern Colorado area. I’m not sure if the guy who bought the club wants me to market it because he thinks I’ll be good at it, or because he just wants to hang out with me. Either way, its going to be an interesting opportunity and challenge.

And on the guy front - since that seems to be what these posts always come back to… yeah. I should quit trying with them too.

For a while now, I’ve been fighting off the feeling that I was turning into an adult. I mean, just because I have an increasingly responsible job, and more friends who are married that are single, doesn’t mean that I’m an adult. I still (sometimes) go to the bar on a weeknight (although I no longer close it down or take advantage of the drink specials). And some weekends I still sleep until noon.

Then, as I was driving home tonight, contemplating what I was going to cook for dinner, it hit me. I am an adult. After work today I went and had my tires rotated, got a good recommendation for a brake shop to get my brakes checked (because they’re due, not because they’re bad), and then went to the grocery store where I bought adult food like bananas, granola, bread, and yogurt.

I run errands like an adult. I buy groceries like an adult. I even party like an adult - responsibly. Ugh. Enough of that! Starting tomorrow, it’s back to the youngster days for me!

Yeah, right. Until the alarm goes of at 5:45 am and I get up and go back to my responsible job, wearing sensible shoes.

“It’s easy to see why a great girl like you is so popular. Your charm and style help you wade through tough situations and glide through good ones. And you’ll do it all with a smile on your face. What could be sweeter?”

Ok, this is from one of those silly quizes that you take to find out what your “panty profile” is (mine is hipster, btw, which I do appreciate). But my question is this - if I’m so popular, why am I at home alone so much of the time?

Why do guys keep using this word “amazing”? Seriously… I want to be beautiful or irresistable or breathtaking or witty or funny. Anything but amazing. You can’t back up amazing. Its just some word that sounds great, and means nothing. I want to be the kind of woman that walks into a room and turns heads. The kind that guys look at and say “why cant I get a girl like that?”
Just once I want someone to look at me and think I’m beautiful, and continue thinking that after they get to know me. I’m not just one of the guys all the time. Sometimes I’m sappy and sentimental, and sometimes I do want the love song kind of love. If it’s out there.

*Sigh*. I have to go back to work tomorrow, so I guess I should be done with this for now. But not for long.

And a quote…
It’s love that leaves and breaks the seal of always thinking you would be real happy and healthy, strong and calm.

“It’s the love part that I think might be problematic. In my opinion, you can only say that love truly is love once you’re both dead, because it’s only then, once you’ve managed to go your entire lives with each other and that’s nowhere for you to go off to or anymore to go off with, that it finally becomes real. Anything else is more or less just infatuation. I’m serious.” The door to one of the neighboring flats slammed shut, shaking my windows. I crawled into bed. “Everybody loves a lover but too many people lack Staying Power. Love should be fatal. You should never recover from it. If you can, then it wasn’t love.” –Mike Gayle
“Loving is a lot like watching a 20 minute fireworks display - exciting, emotional, romantic, sweet, memorable. But it also always ends as dramatic as it began; fades slowly into thin air and as much as you want to keep watching, there is nothing to make it stay. In the end, all there is left is a starless night and the fact that in this life, good things never seem to last.”

Is it weird for your eye color to match your hair color perfectly? I think it is - but someone told me this weekend that it’s “gorgeous.” I still just think its odd - and an odd thing to mention. I think I will go look to see if its true now. (Its a good thing that I don’t have blue eyes!)

Also - I received a comment from someone on MySpace. (Yes, I am a member of that cesspool. That cesspool gave me back some great friends from back in the day!) Normally I pass random comments off as just that, random. But this guy was odd because A - he’s a stripper; and B - he doesn’t have any pictures of his face. At all. Pictures of his back. And his abs. And nearly his “special zone.” Is he one of America’s Most Wanted, or is his face truly his worst feature?

Until next time…

People are stupid. Wait. Is that right? Is that a good way to start a fresh, shiney new blog? One that, for once, is being put out there for the full wide world to read, if they choose to?

Yes. It is. People are stupid. I don’t lay claim to be exempt from this statement. I, like the rest of you, have my moments of lucid stupidity. (You, my fair reader, will see much evidence of this in the coming days and weeks).

I suppose in a first blog post I should give an introduction to who I am, what I do, why the blog has been created. So, here goes.
1. I’m Brandi, also known as Brandel, Brandu, Brandiwine, and just plain B. (I’m no longer amused by any of the alcohol references about my name, so lets keep those to ourselves. Thanks.)
2. I work, listen to music, watch movies, cruise the internet, and attempt to find fun in all of these adventures. I also read, hang out with my friends, and I’m considering training to run a half-marathon. If I decide to do that, the whole tone of this blog will probably change (to me whining about how much my legs hurt)
3. I have no idea why the blog was created - but its here now. We’ll see how long it lasts.

Welcome!